Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Getting to Know Your Inner Victim - Melissa


Getting to Know Your Inner Victim – MJD

            “Victims aren’t we all,” is a very true statement as we are all a victim at some point in our lives.  A victim is defined as a person who suffers from a destructive or injurious action or agency.  Such destructive or injurious action can be something as traumatic as a car accident or illness, or something as simple as being jilted by a lover or taken advantage of in a financial scheme.  Yet, more often than not, the action of such destruction and injury is us.  We all have an inner victim residing in us.
            I know I have often played the part of a victim as if I was seeking an Emmy nomination for best actress.  I usually don my victim garb when an event occurs in my life, either big or small, and I let my emotions run wild.  My emotions soon take control and invade my thoughts at every waking moment and I become the consummate victim, a martyr even.  I wail about the real and perceived wrongs, I brow beat myself with horrendous and demeaning opinions of myself and basically treat myself like crap.  When I am in this state you can say the worst, meanest thing to me, and I will guarantee you that I have already thought it about myself and within the last half hour.  I do not relish the role of the victim, but it can be very hard to break out of the cycle. 
            I believe we have all performed such theatrics at some point in our lives.  It may be flat out depression, but I believe a part of us, albeit a small one, enjoys the drama and attention that can be fawned on us.  Who in their right mind wouldn’t enjoy such attention from friends and family?  It is not to say that one should not feel like a victim if a horrible event does occur, but the goal here is to avoid prolonging it for too long.  For I believe that the longer you extend the victim persona, you are doing greater damage to yourself and it takes that much longer to succeed in pulling yourself out of the self-created muck.
            My solution for breaking out of the cycle is to literally stop and stand still.  I no longer feed my inner demon, err, victim.  I begin to take steps away from that role and once again begin to actively participate in my life instead of letting it happen to me.  Granted it is hard, but I believe it is the best way to stop it.
            So during those unfortunate times when feeling like a victim is appropriate, indulge a little bit in the forbidden fruit as it is also a process of healing, but do not make it the starring role of your life.  You only go around once on this roller coaster called life; so you have to make the best of it no matter what life throws at you.  In closing, the best advice I can offer for living your life as a leading role, rather than a supporting one, is to think to yourself daily, “I’m just where I’m supposed to be right now as I am;” a little self love, instead of self-flagellation, never hurt anyone.  

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