Getting to Know Your Inner Victim – MJD
“Victims aren’t we all,” is a very
true statement as we are all a victim at some point in our lives. A victim is defined as a person who suffers
from a destructive or injurious action or agency. Such destructive or injurious action can be
something as traumatic as a car accident or illness, or something as simple as being
jilted by a lover or taken advantage of in a financial scheme. Yet, more often than not, the action of such
destruction and injury is us. We all
have an inner victim residing in us.
I know I have often played the part
of a victim as if I was seeking an Emmy nomination for best actress. I usually don my victim garb when an event occurs
in my life, either big or small, and I let my emotions run wild. My emotions soon take control and invade my
thoughts at every waking moment and I become the consummate victim, a martyr
even. I wail about the real and perceived
wrongs, I brow beat myself with horrendous and demeaning opinions of myself and
basically treat myself like crap. When I
am in this state you can say the worst, meanest thing to me, and I will
guarantee you that I have already thought it about myself and within the last
half hour. I do not relish the role of
the victim, but it can be very hard to break out of the cycle.
I believe we have all performed such
theatrics at some point in our lives. It
may be flat out depression, but I believe a part of us, albeit a small one,
enjoys the drama and attention that can be fawned on us. Who in their right mind wouldn’t enjoy such
attention from friends and family? It is
not to say that one should not feel like a victim if a horrible event does
occur, but the goal here is to avoid prolonging it for too long. For I believe that the longer you extend the
victim persona, you are doing greater damage to yourself and it takes that much
longer to succeed in pulling yourself out of the self-created muck.
My solution for breaking out of the
cycle is to literally stop and stand still.
I no longer feed my inner demon, err, victim. I begin to take steps away from that role and
once again begin to actively participate in my life instead of letting it
happen to me. Granted it is hard, but I
believe it is the best way to stop it.
So during those unfortunate times
when feeling like a victim is appropriate, indulge a little bit in the forbidden
fruit as it is also a process of healing, but do not make it the starring role
of your life. You only go around once on
this roller coaster called life; so you have to make the best of it no matter
what life throws at you. In closing, the
best advice I can offer for living your life as a leading role, rather than a
supporting one, is to think to yourself daily, “I’m just where I’m supposed to
be right now as I am;” a little self love, instead of self-flagellation, never
hurt anyone.
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