Crazy Cat Lady - Sorta

So this is going to come off as my being a crazy cat lady, and while I may be to some extent, I don't have 80 cats lazing around my house, but just two frisky felines that I adore beyond words!

My reason for starting this blog in this fashion is because I am, in fact, writing to commemorate the birthday of my cat Padauan who is turns eight today, which by default makes me that crazy.  I was sitting with her this morning, and I realized that it was eight years ago today that this gray bundle of nervous energy came into my life! It has been eight years of laughter, joy, purring, hugs and scratching behind the ears, not to mention cleaning up cat puke, scooping litter boxes, and continually telling her “No, cat’s don’t belong up there!”

It has been eight years since I walked through Maximo Park in St. Petersburg and heard a melodious meowing behind me.  I turned around and there was a beautiful gray kitten staring at me with her piercing green eyes.  She had a look of anticipation on her face, as if she was saying "Alright, pick me up already, I'm ready to go home!"  I listened and took her home with me.  Padauan was born feral, and I'm proud that I was able to save her from a hard life.  Frankly, I wish I could take in all stray cats, but the Cat Queens in my home, Padauan and LB, not to mention the King, David, prevent me from doing so.

Padauan, as I like to say, is the perfectly symmetrical, asymmetrical cat.  She is a gorgeous gray tabby cat with light tiger stripes throughout her coat.  She has white socks on her feet, and a soft white belly that I love to rub when she allows me.  Her perfectly lined coat is why she is symmetrical, however the reason for my calling her asymmetrical is because she is, how do I put this, slightly off. 

Her personality can be compared to the crazy aunt we all deny having, but who we know, is part of our family.  Padauan has been known to fluff out over absolutely nothing.  She stalks imaginary spots on the floor, wall or ceiling, which LB (my other cat) looks at as if saying "What do you see?  There is absolutely nothing there!"  But mostly, she can be neurotic, kinda of like me now that I think about it; maybe that’s where she gets it from! 

Needless to say, she has provided me with many laughs over the years.  Padauan has also comforted me when I was sad, kept me company when I was ill, and nestled next to me to keep me warm on cold evenings.  She always meows "God Bless You" when I sneeze, and if I have a giggle fit she comes up to see what all the fuss is about.

Padauan is my companion, my best friend, and the sweetest most loving animal I have had the privilege of knowing.  LB, my second cat, threw a bit of a hissy fit this morning when I was fawning over Padauan because it’s her special day.  LB for once was not the center of attention, which she always tries to be, and usually succeeds in, but I think she is glad to have such a crazy sister to wreak havoc with.  So here is to wishing my sweet Padauan a Happy Birthday!  It has been eight heartwarming years, and I am so very thankful that Padauan chose me to be her human on that fateful day in the park.  

If this essay leaves people thinking that I'm a crazy cat lady, well then so be it.  However, I dare anyone that has pets of any kind not to gush over their furry, scaly, or feathered friends.  I think I’m safe in saying that we pet parents are proud to have these creatures in our lives!

Clutter

They say we use only 10% of our brain’s capacity.  When I first heard that figure I couldn't believe it.  How could we only be using that little of our potential.  Then, the more I thought about it; there is some truth to that fact.  The reason being, and I’m speaking personally here, is that 90% of my brain is cluttered with crap.

I know the lyrics to hundreds of songs by heart.  I could be listening to the radio and hear a song for the first time in 15 years, and the next thing I know I’m singing along without missing a beat!  I know so many nonsensical trivia facts that I could give the contestants on Jeopardy a run for their money.  As long as the categories are about beer, animals, Florida history and cartoon shows, I would be the next champion.  And don’t even get me started about my favorite commercials.  “Mike, Mike, Mike, what day is it...” happily rattled around my head for months drowning any important work-related information.  And one liners from movies, I've got those down pat from dozens and dozens of films.

As for the important stuff, the things I learned in college, you know knowledge I actually paid to learn in the hopes of using some day; all of that got buried under my next favorite silly tidbit.  College algebra got flushed by the Christmas Rant from National Lampoon Christmas Vacation, which I can recite stone cold. "I want to look him straight in the eye and tell him what a cheap, lying, rotten..." you get the idea.  The Spanish verbs I spent four years conjugating were vaporized by watching my favorite YouTube cat videos hundreds of times.  I’m surprised if I can remember Hola and De Nada on a good day.

The Shakespeare’s sonnets that I once wrote so eloquently about in English Composition were blown away after I learned the lyrics to Taylor Swift’s Shake It Off and Megan Trainer’s All About That Bass.  I can sing these songs at the drop of a hat, but "to be or not to be": good luck i I can remember what, let alone who.  Plato got suffocated under the weight of 12 years of American Idol.  And "I think, therefore I am," got obliterated by my reality television marathons.  Who said that anyway, wasn't it Desert Cart? 

I need to start looking into how to remove all this garbage that has piled up.  There is so many black trash bags and cobweb covered boxes stacked up that I can't find anything when I need it!  I wonder if there are College Hunks that I could hire to haul this crap out of my head. My brain is so damn cluttered that I’m lucky I can still remember my honey’s name --- its .... oh look at this new cat video I just found!

The Ties that Bind

.

We all have heard the saying that the eyes are the windows to the soul. 

If you look in the eyes of an animal, you see nothing but unconditional love and absolute trust.

Animals can gaze out at the world with such endless joy and a sense of fun; or at least that is how they should see the world.

If you happen to catch the gaze of an animal who has experienced the dark side of human nature and been subjected to unspeakable horrors, you will see fear, pain and a deep seated mistrust of mankind.

Yet in that tortured gaze there is a glimmer of hope, hidden and buried, but there nonetheless.

Hope that the worst is behind them as a calm, loving hand tenderly reaches out to pet them.

Hope at the gentle voice that beckons and consoles their tormented emotions.

And hope of a safer future as they are lifted from their struggle by strong arms that will shield them from the terrors of their past.

These strong arms, soft voices and gentle hands belong to those individuals who are selflessly and compassionately driven to rescue those animals who have been forgotten, abused and shoved to the fringe of society.

Countless numbers have been rescued from their plights, yet countless more remain.

Those with the higher calling to rescue will continue their mission; and those suffering will be found and healed.

“Not to hurt our humble brethren, the animals, is our first duty... We have a higher mission – to be of service to them whenever they require it.  If you have men who will exclude any of God’s creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who deal likewise with their fellow men” – St. Francis.

Those who rescue the lost are shining examples of the compassion, love and above all hope that can be seen shining from the eyes of those animals who have been saved. 

Those loving gazes; that hope, that compassion and unconditional love are the ties that bind us together as a community; those ties are what calls us to value each other and above all the animals.  

Christmas Lights

Twas the night before the day after Thanksgiving,

which is the day David festoons our house for Christmas.

All through the house, strings of lights and extension cords were strewn about. 

Nails and gutter clips were hung with care, in the hopes that an extension ladder would soon be there.

David was snug in his bed, as visions of LED lights flashed in his head.

Meanwhile I tossed and turned in fright, envisioning the size of my electric bill. 

I was awoken in the morning by the clatter and banging of a ladder as David climbed, hung, tugged and jerked as he wired the house.

I ventured out to watch the chaos as he cursed and muttered at the unending knot of lights.

"I don't want it to look like Santa threw up on my house!" I warned trying to catch his maniacal eye.

Throughout the day, he cried and crowed, as our house became even more adorned. 

Finally, twelve hours later as dusk neared, I heard the door creaking open. "Come see," he said with a wide grin.

Fretfully I exited my house, fearful of the grand reveal.

With a drum roll and a flick of a switch, I heard a transformer blow, as his Christmas vision was born.

My house looked like it was on fire with all of that glaring brightness!

"On red, on yellow, on green and don't forget blue!" David giggled.  "And look, it goes purple, and flashes, and chases as some color clashes."

"It goes fast, and slow, and fades and swirls, all thanks to these LED nodes!" 

I stared in part awe and horror, and I swear I heard a plane's approach. 

The lights twinkled and twirled in David's loving gaze as I kissed him on the cheek and said "Well done, babe."  

As I ventured back inside my florescent, flashing, technicolor house, I heard him shout, “Happy Christmas to all, and don't mind our bright house!"

Do Not Go Quietly Into That Good Night

The wind ripples across the River of Grass,

Delicately undulating, up and down, side to side in the breeze.

A butterfly brightly colored seeks nectar from the blooming flowers.

The butterfly flutters above a ghostly shadow,

Traveling silently across the ground.

It is the shadow of a tawny, red shaded cat – a panther.

Lurking through the brush, it is a female returning to her kittens from a successful hunt.

She is a creature of beauty, with her golden eyes and twitching whiskers.

She senses the world around her as her black-tipped ears swivel to any new sounds.

Her coat gleams reddish in the setting sun, a warm aura surrounding her.

She is a survivor of the long struggle that her species as faced.

Her kittens are the future, worth all of the love and guidance she can give them.

She is a mother who will not go quietly into that good night.

LIfe

Life persists;

It insists;

It invades;

It thrives in dark places;

It divides and conquers;

Life is all things, everywhere, in everything;

Life prevails.

Watching Someone Else Sleep

Watching Someone Else Sleep

I toss, I turn.

I beat pillows, I fluff blankets.

My cats, sleeping deeply, get rudely awoken as I push them to the floor.

I need the room dammit!

Fan on too cold, fan off too hot.

What is that incessant noise!

Oh right, the white noise sleep machine that is supposed to lull me as I count sheep.

My God that’s annoying.

No matter how much I plump, punch or prod; my pillows are like stone,

No matter how much I shake the bed trying to find one last cool spot,

No matter how much I whimper, whine and curse,

My sweetheart sleeps through it all.

Eyelids closed over baby blue eyes,

A sweet smile on his lips, as he dreams about God knows what – me naked I hope!

Hands gently clasped under his oh, so soft pillows.

I look at him in his sweet slumber and growl.

No matter my volcanic eruptions and earthquakes shaking of the bed,

My honey sleeps the slumber that I so desperately seek.

God damn him I mutter to myself,

Green with sleep envy!