Existential Crisis

Existential Crisis

Melissa Dallago

Every day there are questions.

I question whether it is worth it;

I question why I must fight for my happiness; and

I question why the powers that be can make things so damn hard.

Every day is a struggle.

I struggle with my own demons;

I struggle with other people’s demons; and

I struggle to find goodness and light in what is usually a chaotically cruel world.

Every day is a challenge.

For me to keep a positive attitude;

To smile; and

To believe in something bigger than my tiny existence.

Every day is an affirmation of my faith.

Each sunrise is a promise of a new day;

Each act of kindness and unselfishness I witness reaffirms goodness; and

Each moment that I am alive and breathing in a beautiful, vibrant world confirms a higher power’s touch.

Each day is an existential crisis for me. 

I struggle to believe in something bigger, more meaningful and grander than I.

The fact that I struggle gives me faith that one day, I will understand

why I am challenged, why I struggle, and why I hope for greater things.

Faith in a higher power, in beauty, and light and hope is what keeps me going, and makes my crisis worth it.